Monday, April 19, 2010

My Hubby's "Thingy"

"That felt very disrespectful. Did I say something unloving?"
I KNEW that's what was going through his head ..... I could hear the shock and unbelief in his silence on the other end of the phone.
He had just called me because of an email I sent to him at his office that said:
"Hey Babe, I forgot to give you a message yesterday.
Jack, from True Life Taxidermy called. He said your thingy is ready.
Call him to arrange a time to pick it up."
"You FORGOT to give me the message?!?!?!?" He asked incredulously. How can you forget to give me a message about something I have been anxiously waiting so long for? You know I think about this twenty times a day! And you tell me he said my "THINGY" is ready?!?!?!?! "My THINGY"
Boy was I in hot water now...... I guess it is not wise (or respectful) to call your husband's Prized Buck Trophy Mount a "Thingy."
....... And then he brought it home. I was in another room when he came in but I could hear the kiddlings oohing and ahhing.  He took the opportunity while I was indisposed, to hang his trophy in the best spot he could find - the focal point of the room. You could see this thing from just about every room on the main floor and maybe even the stairway if you hung over the railing far enough. When I walked into the room I nearly got a face full of fur! This thing is huge! "No Way! No way.... this CANNOT go here." I said in my very best "stern mommy" voice. "But look" her replied, "The lights are just perfect right above his head to show it off..... Doesn't that look great there Dad?" My father had accompanied him to retrieve his prize and now he was taking his side as far as where the Buck should hang - so not fair - I am blood and the hubby is only a relative by marriage. I was feeling very out numbered and could actually feel the testosterone in the air. What is it with dead animals that makes men throw back their shoulders, puff up their chests and grunt like Tim Allen off the old tv sitcom "Tool Time?"
So after thinking about it and not wanting to dampen his celebration, I opted to compromise and suggested a different place to hang him .... in the corner near the patio door (not so obvious when you first walk into the house.) My hubby was thrilled, especially since I had originally refused to even have it in the house at all.
I understand that this is a "big deal" to my hubby and it IS a great victory as far as being a hunter goes... it's an 11 pointer ya know :) I am very proud of his success ( it is partly MY success too - after all I WAS the one who helped him drag the thing out of the bush, all the way to the road and helped load the hefty herbivore into the jeep) I get it really - I felt the adrenaline rush too. But we've eaten him all up now - not a single pepperette left.....  it's just that I am a little weirded out having him watching every move we make. I feel like I am being stalked..... pretty ironic isn't it? Hahaha
So the deer got hung up and the hubby was happy. He admired it all evening. Daniel was so happy for daddy. He said he was excited that daddy's "deer face" was allowed to stay in the house. The kids and I would catch him smiling in the deer's direction or standing silently next to it, probably reliving the moment he first saw it step through the trees ..... and now it is here. On my wall. For all the world to see. Everyday. Forever.
Sooooo, what is one to do with a dead animal noggin hangin on the wall? Well I thought about that one day and came up with a plan. If you know my husband you'd know how much of a practical joker he can be. I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and shared my scheme with my Dad. He gave me some advice and helped me fine tune "the plan" and then all I had to do was wait for the perfect opportunity..... and that opportunity presented itself on Saturday night. I am giggling as I type this. I can't even think about this without cracking up - it's THAT good!  So after my hubby fell asleep, I waited patiently for him to roll over and face the wall .... and then I sprang into action! I took his precious deer head off the wall (ever so carefully) and layed it on my pillow in bed next to my soundly sleeping hubby. I set my camera to record and began whispering "Pssssst, Psssst" But he would not wake up...... the suspence was almost too much! Finally I had to shake the headboard to wake him. He rolled over and came face to face with his beloved Buck. But I could tell from the horrified scream and frantic scrambling to get out of the bed that he didn't recognize his deer at all. Infact he cautiously peeked over the blankets to get a second look and still had an odd look of bewilderment on his face. As the words "What the heck" escaped his lips I KNEW in my heart that this video would be a winning entry for America's Funniest Home Videos .... and so after all the excitement died down ...  at about 2:00 am, I uploaded the video to AFV in hopes of sharing my hubby's pride and joy with the world :)

With seven kiddlings running around here I treasure every moment I have to myself - what a rare treat it is to be able to steal away for15 minutes to have a bubble bath alone. I planned it out in great detail.... set the little girls on the couch to watch cartoons. Put the baby gate up to keep them contained in one room. Bring the telephone into the bathroom with me. Settle the baby into her playpen with some toys to occupy her for a few minutes. Leave the bathroom door open so I can hear what's going on. The bath tub was hot and the bubbles were inviting. I was laying back and just starting to relax when I heard Latoya call out "the Baby is stinky! She pooped." "I'll take care of that as soon as I get out" I replied. Only moments later I hear Susan shriek "Ewww, what's she eating?" WHAT?!?!?!?!
OH MY GOSH! (that's the only thing that goes through your mind at a moment like this) I jump out of the bathtub to investigate and find that yes indeed she IS eating poop. Infact, she seems to be enjoying it and offers some to me (Isn't that precious she is learning to share). My mind is racing as I try to decide what to do first. Put the Baby in the bath tub, wipe down the playpen, throw the stinky playpen outside, disinfect the toys, brush her teeth.... OH MY GOSH! Note to self: NEVER leave the Baby in just a diaper - not even for a minute.
It felt like Christmas around here this week. My AVON order came in! The next order goes in on Tuesday April 27th - If you haven't already placed an order, check out the current book, Campaign 12 and any other recent catalogues (found on my Avon Business page) then let me know what I can get for you. Orders will be delivered on Friday April 30th.
Here are a few funnies from our house to yours:
*While eating her soup at lunchtime little Susan exclaimed : "I found a hair Mom! Oh.... it's mine. (It was still attached to her head)
*While eating dinner one night Nicholas asked "Mom, sometime can we have some fish that's in the shape of a fish and not like these sticks? (He's a pretty special boy - Papa sent over a fillet of fish to cook up for dinner, just so he'd have "real fish" - Thanks Papa)
*Susan walked into the bathroom while I was doing my makeup. "Mama your brains are gone!" She exclaimed. (She meant my "bangs" as I had my hair pulled back.)
*Susan: Crack kills Latoya! ...... Crack kills Latoya! .... Latoya, I said crack kills!"  "Mommy, Latoya won't pull up her pants and I told her crack kills."
Latoya: (hiking up her pants) "I know that Susan."
*While preparing for dance class I was doing the girls hair. it all has to be pulled back in a bun. I was working on Susan's hair when I put mousse into her hair and started to smoothe her bangs back....
"Mommy, something is making noise in my hair!" she said.
*As I finished working on Latoya's hair I was frustrated that the bun was off to the side AGAIN.... I told her that she kept moving so her bun was crooked. Latoya started crying and said "I don't want to have crooked brains."
*On Sunday morning after church while we fellowshipped in the foyer, Daniel came running up to me and excitedly interrupted our conversation. "Smell my breff Mommy!" (Someone had given him a mint. I'll have to explain to him that that sort of thing is NOT like colognes or does not need to be shared. LOL)

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