Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Yes I KNOW what kind of adventures my summer has in store

I sat straight up in bed, still groggy but sufficiently startled from the blaring noise emanating from the small radio alarm clock on the night stand. With my heart beating wildly in my chest I fought the bedsheets as I hurled myself across the bed toward the offending noise. I slammed my hand down on the snooze button (a little harder than necessary) and dragged myself back to "my side" of the bed.... "just five more minutes" I begged to no one in particular. He was still sounds asleep. Of course he was. He slept through everything. Thunder storms, crying babies, sick kids in the middle of the night, scary dreams and sleep walking teens ... and yes, even the dreaded "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP" of the alarm clock. What an irritating noise that is - who invented such a demonic device anyway? I snuggled under the blankets, trying to fit my head back into the "right spot" on the pillow - the place where my noggin had left it's imprint from my sweet slumber only moments earlier. The blankets weren't right. There weren't enough blankets.... "someone" had rolled over and took some of "my" blankets! That's great! Now my knees were sticking out and getting chilly. How would I ever catch a few more winks with cold appendages. I grabbed the edge of the blankets and braced myself against the edge of the bed and puuuuulled. *SIGH!* The exasperated sigh from the other side of the bed told me I'd probably taken more than my fair share of the covers. I wiggled down deeper into the warm blanket and tucked it under my chin and smiled contently to myself. "Ahh" I sighed in a deeply satisfying moment. But something was amiss. My body so wanted to sleep and slumber... for a little while longer.... but my mind was already wide awake and running through my mental to do list. "No, no, no!" I silently screamed at myself. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and willed my thoughts to shush and my body to obey. "Quickly, lay still and be quiet .... steal a few more minutes before the - " BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP...
My eyes fly open wide and I angrily lunge toward the disturbing time piece.  "This is so not fair" I whine to myself internally. When do "I" get to sleep in and ignore the overwhelming feelings of responsibility and obligation? When can I just turn a deaf ear to everything going on around me and hunker down in my blankets for "a few more minutes" of R and R? When can I just.... "Oh! Wait a minute......... today's the last day of school! I might get the chance to sleep in a bit tomorrow morning....

What a day! It felt like the first day of school or a day trip to Canada's Wonderland.... the excitement in the air was contagious. Daddy was in a good mood and eagerly volunteered to wait for the bus with the kiddlings at the end of the driveway. Once they were on the bus and on their way to school for the last day of the school year....reality set in and a feeling of dread settled over me.  For the next two long hot months all seven kiddlings will be home with me.... all day long. Don't get me wrong, I love my children more than I can express. But like I have mentioned in a previous post, when they're all together you have a group of excited children with a "pack mentality". When one comes up with a bright idea they all suddenly act on it - as a group ... just like a pack of wolves. So the thought of having all of them home for two long hot months is a little intimidating. I KNOW what's in store for my summer. I can see it all unfolding in my mind right now (and I'm already tired just thinking about it.) The boys have been grounded from their bikes off and on ALREADY and summer's just beginning. Nobody knows who started it but they sure all got involved. "Let's play smash up derby with our bikes!" some bright youngster enthusiastically announces. "Hey Ya! That's a great idea. We can see who can stay on their bikes the longest while everyone else rams into them!" another boy quivers with excitement as he adds his wisdom to the plan. "I don't think we should, we're gonna get in trouble." some brilliant child offers with reason. "Come on, don't be such a baby! You can't play with us - you're too much of a baby!" chides one boy to the "reasonable one." "Ya, go away and play with the girls" (a serious insult in a young boys world I've come to find out) "you're not cool enough to play with us anyway!" someone else taunts. "I am so cool! I'll show you - let's play smash up derby - I'm first!" challenges the "not-so-reasonable -anymore" boy. And the game begins..... it is short lived because the boys quickly discover that high speeds and crashing sharp metal bike parts can cause unthought of amounts of pain and discomfort. As I peer out the window I catch them in the act. The little girls are running in circles around the boys who are charging eachother at top speed with their bikes. They look like a pack of dogs at the height of their excitement all fixated on the goal. They've lost all ability to reason and think clearly. Safety never even enters their minds.... how can it? There's no more room in there. The whole event is finally cuminated in a single collision. The little girlies run away screaming. Bodies lay still on the ground, dust settles onto the strewn about bicycles, some with tires still spinning in the air, going no where. When the air returns to their lungs a piercing howl is heard amoung the quiet sobs. "I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding! Nicholas crashed into me on purpose and now I'm bleeding!" Daniel bitterly weeps. "Mommy the boys are bweedin' to deff in da field." informs Little Susan as she races toward the house her eyebrows pinched together in concern. "Oh ya? That's too bad ... I almost had lunch ready - tell them to come here and get cleaned up...and remind them to put their bikes away before they come." I reply nonchalantly and turn to go back into the house. Shane is the first to reach the back door. Limping and wiping the tears from his face he quietly slips into the house and heads for the washroom. "What happened to you?" I ask, with a look of genuine concern on my face. "Daniel did it! He ran his bike into mine and my leg got crushed by his front tire." he complains in earnest. "Really? You were just riding along and out of nowhere Daniel just rammed into you? That doesn't sound right. Why would he do such a thing?" I enquired just as Nicholas burst through the door all breathless and sweaty. "Mom... Mom Shane ran his bike into mine for no reason and his handle bars scratched my back and now my front tire is flat - can I use the pump to fix it?" Nicholas asked in one breath. But before I could respond the door opened again and in came a sobbing, dirt covered Daniel, holding his side with one hand and his shoulder with the other. "MOoom, the boys were being mean to me. They were crashing their bikes into mine and now my tire is popped and I got cut and it hurts. Can Papa fix my bike? The brakes are bent off again too. Can Papa fix my brakes again? Will you pump up my tire so I can ride my bike?" he spewed as he wiped his nose with the back on his hand. "Look." he said as he lifted his shirt to reveal a scratch across his side. "Looks like road rash to me." I responded. "Now go get cleaned up for lunch....and put those bikes away!"
Yes I KNOW what kind of adventures my summer has in store. And although I anticipate spending some much needed family time with my kiddlings I also anticipate a whole lot of drama, horror, suspense, fiction and comedy ..... THEY are my greatest source of entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment..... The Baby has found a new way to keep herself occupied in her room. I discovered her new "secret" fun one day while I was in the basement doing laundry and happened to look up at the ceiling to see a tiny hand protruding from the duct work above me. I raced up to her room and caught her clumsily replacing the vent cover over the floor vent. She looked surprised to see me standing in her door way. "Don't touch it!" I warned her sternly as I fitted the cover back into place. But as soon as I left the room I heard the sounds of little fingers on plastic, then the unmistakable sound of some unknown appendage banging off the ductwork. My racing back and forth into her room to replace the vent and warn her sternly carried on for a good part of the afternoon. At one point she must have tried standing in the hole because her foot dislodged the duct work and left a gaping hole into the laundry room below.... she thought this was great fun! Especially since she could now reach the window in the laundry room and attempted to pull the curtains up through the vent into her room.
Despite our best efforts at redirecting the Baby from her new found toy she still continues to play in the vent every chance she gets. Just today I had to rescue Teddy from his prison. Teddy had a "time out" and was warned not to play in the vent again. But I think the warning fell on deaf ears cause not five minutes later the Baby was trying to fit herself into the vent hole..... I think she was just enjoying the cool air blowing through it. I am sure she thinks this wonderful apparatus was invented just for her. If the bedroom were a tiny bit bigger we could re arrange it in such a way that the vent could be inaccessible to her... but sadly it's not. We have a quiver full of kiddlings and we have to stack them just to make them fit :)
Here's a few funnies from Our House to Yours

* Little Susan asked Latoya "Is that rice milk?" Latoya replied "Yes, it's for da Baby - when da Baby has regular milk she makes mamarrheas (diarrhea).

* Little Susan proudly showed me the toad she caught. "Hold it carefully." I reminded her. "Ewww, I'm trying to but he's all sweaty!" she complained. "What?!?!" I exclaimed "I don't think that's sweat honey, the toad has peed." Hahaha

* Little Susan was looking through the Bulk Food Store flyer one night. "I'm gonna get this and this and this.... for my teacher.....but NOT THIS (prunes) cause they for makin' poop!"

* "Look Mommy, there's a cottonball in the field!" Latoya exclaimed. (a "cottontail" rabbit)

* The boys had their shirts off at the table during dinner. "Ewww!" Latoya screeched "Nicholas you're showing your knuckles (nipples) that's GROSS!"

* Little Susan likes the colourful "cocoa dots" on the butterfly wings.

* Little Susan was working on a craft at the kitchen table, She asked me for the glue stick to glue the bunny parts on. I absently gave it to her and should not have been so surprised when she stood in front of me to show me her creation .... she had glued all the bunny parts to her own body.

Subscriber's Stories
Introducing a new area of the tank.... Subscribers Stories! Do you have a funny or cute story to share? Want to have it included in the "Subscribers Stories" section of The Fish Bowl? Just email me your story and I'll include it in a future edition of the Fish Bowl. Please include your name and email address with all submissions.

* When my daughter was little we were sitting at the kitchen table playing a game, she had to go through the alaphabet and name a food starting with each letter. " A" I askded " Apple she said "B" I said she was thinking so I said the sound b and she smiled and put her finger up and said " BASGETTI" (Thank you Cyndy B of Chatham for that submission)

* My step son was getting his tonsils and adnoids out and the nurse asked him if he knew what his surgery was for and he said " Yes they are taking out my tonsils and my hemorrhoids. (Thank you Cyndy B of Chatham for that submission)

* Last night Haylee says "hey Nana, you and Papa are good parents " so I said "why?" And she replied "because you both think I'm a princess!" (Thank you Phyllis L of Chatham for that submission)

* This morning Haylee was holding the cat and it jumped down to play with the dog..."hey!" she said "get back up here and play with me, cat's and dog's dont like each other" (Thank you Phyllis L of Chatham for that submission)

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Happy Summer Vacation!

Blessings to you - from my Fish Bowl to yours :)