Saturday, December 24, 2011

"Faster than a speeding ATV, more powerful than a whole herd of children, able to leap baby gates in a single bound, She's Super Baby!"

Merry Christmas Fish Bowl Followers :)
I have a stack of notes on my desk with "blog material" jotted down on torn pages, crumpled wrappers, three ring lined paper, and even restaurant napkins. These kiddlings of mine are ALWAYS doing or saying something worthy of posting in My Fish Bowl, sometimes it's difficult to keep up with it all. While jotting down yet another funny story about one of the kiddos (on the run, in between wrapping Christmas gifts, making lunch, and rescuing the pup from the Baby's clutches) I suddenly realized it has been over a month since my last post! I intended to write sooner but time seems to slip by far too quickly these days.... there always seems to be something urgent, tragic, or dramatic happening here. It's not that I am not aware of what's going on around me, it's just that there seems to be SO MUCH going on at any given moment that I struggle to take it all in. So much can happen in such a small space of time.... take The baby for instance.... she is one-of-a-kind. "Faster than a speeding ATV, more powerful than a whole herd of children, able to leap baby gates in a single bound, She's Super Baby!" This girl is capable of so much more than we give her credit for. She has super sneaky skills, slipping out the room silently skills, hiding in small cramped spaces skills, dodging nine pairs of arms to escape skills,  and the ability to climb anything, reach anything, open anything, jump from anything, and eat anything - she's amazing! Like I said, so much can happen so quickly around here. The Baby was happily brushing her teeth in the bathroom this morning and doing a pretty good job of it. Grandma turned her head for a minute and suddenly ...... she turned back around to find The Baby brushing her teeth with PREPARATION H!
No joke - this stuff is for real - this is my life! There she was smiling "I get more toof pase Mema." she proudly announced to Grandma as she shoved the toothbrush back into her smiling mouth, and the cream ran freely out of the tube of Preparation H, down her tightly clenched fist and onto the floor. Is it any wonder we have activated charcoal in the medicine cabinet and poison control on speed dial?  Infact, The Baby and I recently went to the Emergency room at the local hospital and had a sleep over in the observation area because she has an insatiable desire to "eat things" that should NEVER be eaten. And she goes to great lengths to acquire these delicacies. With nine pairs of eyes in this house you'd never suspect that she'd get away with anything... but she manages to elude us. "Where's the Baby!?!" is the phrase most often shouted in a panic around here. Things got so serious these past few months with her escape tactics that we've had to install chain locks on the top of all doors leading to the great outdoors. One night well after dark, I was returning to the house after spending some time in the barn cleaning stalls.
As I approached the back door I was shocked to see The baby in nothing but a diaper and her brother's oversized shoes, strolling out of the garage door into the darkness. "I go outside now." she said matter of factly. This one has no fear... of anything. Infact she delights in causing us great fear! When she suddenly "goes missing" in the house we go into lock down. "Where's the Baby!" is screamed and it sounds the alarm for everyone. Every person in the house from Little Susan to Grandma drops what they're doing and begins the frantic search. Time is of the essence here.... the longer she is "hidden" the more trouble she gets into.  Someone runs outside and does a preliminary search to be sure she hasn't escaped the confines of the house. (Even with the doors locked she's managed to pop out the screen in her bedroom window before - yes, it is on the mainfloor and yes we NOW have that window locked at all times) Next the search is focused on small hidden corners and "under things", like furniture and laundry baskets. She WILL NOT COME OUT when you're calling her name. She thinks this is great fun to have the whole house in an uproar, everyone frantically searching for her, calling out in an effort to locate her. It is the ultimate game of Hide and Seek.
With my heart in my throat I stand in the middle of the dirt road running past our country home, surveying the area in hopes of spotting that flash of blonde hair as she darts from one hiding place to another, listening for that quiet giggle or squeal of delight (knowing she's pulled one over on us again) but scared stiff praying she didn't make it out the door once again. "She's here! I found her!" comes the excited cry from inside the house. Everyone rushes back indoors to discover the latest hiding place the Baby has claimed. Was it in the basement bathroom, behind the door in the pail of rolled up bath towels? Or in the corner of the basement family room behind the couch where the shelf of DS games are stored? Or has she chosen to squeeze behind the toilet and hide in the tight crevice between the tank and the wall? Or in the food pantry under the basement stairs, pushed back against the wall with the spiders and dust bunnies? No, she's found a new place ..... In the basement, in the laundry room, in the clothing closet, under the bottom shelf (investigating cans of paint - the pretty colours on the lids must have attracted her)
As I scold her once again for scaring the life out of us she looks up at me with that angelic smile of hers and sings "I sooowy Mama, agaaaaaain."

*Here's a few funnies from Our House to Yours *
* "Spam poo" what the baby calls Shampoo.
* "Fur Cume" The Baby's word for perfume/body spray. "Mema, I use your fur cume?"
* "Mama? You burp food?" the Baby asks. (Have you ever belched and tasted your dinner all over again - well we know SHE has :))
* Grandma jokingly says to the Baby "Don't pick your nose. If you're going to pick your nose pick a better one!"  "This one?" the Baby replies as she sticks her finger up the OTHER nostril. hahaha.
* Waiting in the doctor's office there is a woman sitting behind us in the chairs wearing a fur coat. The Baby leans close to my ear, her eyes large in wonder, she whispers... "Look a mama bear!"
* Just caught the Baby in the bathroom... cleaning the toilet with a facecloth. She has wet clothes, the floor is wet and there is generally a mess all over. "I sowwwy Mama .... agaaaain" she says as she grins at me.
Subscriber's Stories
Introducing a new area of the tank.... Subscribers Stories! Do you have a funny or cute story to share? Want to have it included in the "Subscribers Stories" section of The Fish Bowl? Just email me your story and I'll include it in a future edition of the Fish Bowl. Please include your name and email address with all submissions.
* So I take my son for supper tonight and I see someone I know. Being me I proceed to say "hi." My son decides to introduce himself : "Hi I'm Connor I'm 6 years old and I'm as tall as my moms boobs!" sounding very impressed. Did I mention he yelled it loud enough the whole restaurant heard? Oh my :S lol!!
Submitted by Danielle M from Chatham

* Me: "Gabby if u purposely spit again on that table I will spank u" after a thoughtful moment she says "how hard and where?"
Submitted by Veronica A from Windsor

* Yesterday Haylee said "Nana I'm going to ask Santa for a laundry basket ???" I tried to keep a straight face "why?" I asked. She said " because having to go all the way to your room to put away dirty laundry takes to much time away from play time.
Submitted by Phyllis L from Chatham

* Kendal at the bus stop. "Mommy I resent this wind today"
  Me: "you resent the wind?"
  Kendal: "ya I really do"
Submitted by Amie S from Chatham

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Merry Christmas and may you be truly Blessed this holiday season
Blessings to you - from my Fish Bowl to yours :)